Thursday, May 20, 2010

My poem 'call of the wild'. Your opinions!?

Grows there a wild flower, awaiting so long


Among the cascade of buds so long, un-plucked


Atop a valley, along the river, just a way off


—Awaiting the touch of an aesthetic hand!





Where green blades, in abundance, throughout the year, grow


And mysterious ponds, silent and greatly still


Leaps where a waterfall, down the hill


Atop a valley, along the river, just a way off





The deep water no one, so far, tasted


Stands where a solitary maple tree


Under it, till date, no one stretched or rested


Or heard the hum of a hovering bee





At a place, where there is no altitude


Or false privileges, at all none


Common or noble can seek alike


Free muse and ready inspiration





Emran

My poem 'call of the wild'. Your opinions!?
I really like it! and I wish I was there. I know it is amazing if it causes me to want to dive right in to this magical tapestry that you have painted in my head.
Reply:Excuse me Robin, the comment was directed to Kate Alex Bahleef.


My apologies to you for the mistake. Report It

Reply:Good !Keep it up !
Reply:Relax more and let the words flow. You are not being yourself and I don't think the words are truly yours. You should try free verse rather than straining to find a rhyme. Use more word pictures, metaphors, simile, alliteration and word play. Use all of the senses and put some passion and energy into your work. Enjoy writing.
Reply:at a scale from 1 to 10 it's 8
Reply:As poetry is the readers interpretation there is no right or wrong. On an individual basis this seems to describe innocence, unselfishness and freedom nature offers. Secondary to nothing and disregarded.
Reply:I think this is quite beautiful. It captured my imagination and held my attention very well. There is an ages old innocence and reverence for nature in the words. And the words are carefully crafted to create a lovely poem. Thank you.
Reply:Well, I think it paints a vivid picture. It's a little rushed but I really like it. I feel like I'm rushed reading it, I don't know how else to explain it, but it's really good. Keep writing.
Reply:That is a good poem. I like reading them. Keep them coming!


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